The Joker/Audio

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This is an audio sub-page related to The Joker.

Non-Combat Quotes

Character Select

• "Joker's wild, baby."
• "Ooh, a fine choice."
• "Heehahahaha, oh we're gonna cook up somethin' special now."
• "Ready to roll with the Clown Prince of Crime?"
• "Wait'll they get a load of me."
• "Ohhh we're gonna have fun today."
• "Joker here! Let me at 'em."
• "I think it's time to send in the clowns."
• "I usually work alone, but for you I'll make an exception."
• "I'm the Joker, baby!"
• "You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

Menu Interaction

• "Joker here."
• "I'm a bit busy, so make it quick."
• "Knock knock, who's there?"
• "Why hello there."
• "All this sitting around is driving me crazy. When do we get to the fighting?"
• "Something I can help you with?"

Match Start Quotes

General

• "Bow down, suckers!"
• "Okay! Who's up first?"
• "[Laughs] Ready when you are!"
• "Shuffle up and deal, bozos!"
• "Put up your dukes, everyone! I'm just itchin' for a tussle!"
• "Who's ready to fight little ol' me?"
• "Right-o, here's the plan: We fight, I win."
• "And here... we... GO!"
• "Now now, get in line. I've got enough fight in me for everyone."
• "Gotham Schmotham. Look at all these NEW playmates."

With Harley Quinn

• "That's the outfit you chose, Harley? You know I love the other one."
• "No one else I'd rather do this dance of destruction with, kumquat."

Against Batman

• "Where's your teen sidekick, Batman? I need a new punching bag."
• "Left the underage minors at home this time, hmmm Batman?"
• "Well hey there, Pointy-Ears! I knew we were destined to fight each other."
• "Oh Batman, We have *got* to stop meeting like this!"
• "I've got an ace up my sleeve with your name on it, Batty-boy."
• "You better be bringing your A-game, Bat-breath!"
• "Oooh, what toys did you bring this time, Batsy-watsy?"
• "I hate when we fight like this, Bat-brain."

Against Bugs Bunny

• "Shame to beat you rabbit, I actually like your vibe."
• "Come on then, rabbit."
• "Hope the Animal Cruelty people aren't watching."
• "Oooh, that reminds me: I wanted some new rabbit-skin gloves."

Against Jake the Dog

• "How far can those limbs go, stretcho?"
• "Time for some ol' fashioned dog-stretching."
• "Oooh, I love a good taffy pull."
• "Adventure Time already? Hm. Alright."

Against Rick

• "Shouldn't you be drooling somewhere else, Grandpa?"
• "Better finish before grandpa's nap."
• "Ooooh, is it Punch the Elderly Day already?"
• "So THESE are your golden years, Rick? Eesh."

Against Shaggy

• "[sarcastic] Oh great. Norville is here."
• "Dibs on the skinny one that smells like a dog."
• "Fighting a dog's sidekick... No one tell my henchmen."
• "That stone was supposed to be MINE, Norville."

Against Velma

• "Keep an eye on those glasses..."
• "Well, if it isn't VELMA."
• "Uh oh. Nerd alert."
• "Nice to see you, Velma. How's your mom?"

Against Wonder Woman

• "Does that lasso really make EVERYONE tell the truth?"
• "Ooooh! Dibs on Wondy's invisible jet!"
• "Ah, I've always wanted to test my material on an Amazon."
• "Get those bracelets ready, Wonder Woman. Joker's dealing this time."

Respawn Quotes

General

• "Ooooh, I actually felt that one."
• "Yes. Exactly. Like that! [Laughs]"
• "Oh, you're making me mad now!"
• "Not the first time I've been resurrected."
• "Oooh, that was impressive!"
• "I'm like a bad penny. A bad penny that's going to triple-knot your entrails."
• "What, you think you'd seen the last of me?"
• "Stop me if you've heard this one before…"
• "Like you bozos could get rid of me that easily."
• "We'll see who has the last laugh."
• "Okaay, start panicking."

With Harley Quinn

• "Fret not, dear Harley, I'm back!"
• "Okay Harley, it's revenge time now!"
• "Okay, now THAT one made me mad! You know what to do, Harley."
• "Harley, my sweet, I want you to find out who got me... and DESTROY them!"

Against Batman

• "Ooooh, those little toys are getting on my nerves now."
• "That was a spicy one, Batman! I *like* it!"
• "That's the spirit, Bats!"
• "I'm going to tie those pointy ears of yours together."
• "How many times have we done this dance, Batsy?"
• "Not bad, Batman! But can you do it again?"
• "Does you taking me down EVER stick, Batman?"
• "You get some new moves when I wasn't looking? Because that one took me by surprise, Bats!"

Against Bugs Bunny

• "Now it's my turn, you long-eared freak."
• "You'll wish you stayed in that hole."
• "That's it. Wabbit Season."
• "Ooooh, now that WAS looney."

Against Rick

• "Elderly care hours are over!"
• "You're pretty fast for an old man."
• "Hope you've got a clone handy!"
• "Hope those Meeseeks know CPR."

Against Jake the Dog

• "Ohhh I'm gonna knead you like bread dough."
• "[mocking] You haven't seen anything yet. *dude*."
• "You're a dog, Jake."
• "Ohhh that was a mistake, Jake."

Against Shaggy

• "Starting to see why that dog keeps you around, Norville!"
• "Not bad for a loser who lives in a van."
• "Ooooh, hits hard for a skinny guy."
• "Ha, looks like that stone was as good as they say."

Against Velma

• "And the locker jockey fights back!"
• "I guess nerds can fight now."
• "Sending you back to the library."
• "Not bad, bookworm."

Against Wonder Woman

• "Now that's just unsporting, Wonder Woman! My turn!"
• "Wow! They were not kidding about you Amazons!"
• "Yow, what'd I do to make you *that mad*, Wondy?"
• "Hoohoohoo, anyone catch the plate on that invisible jet?"

During Combat Quotes

General

• "Ooh, my deal."
• "Let's fight dirty."
• "Didn't see that one coming, did ya?"
• "How's this one land?"
• "Always working on new material."
• "Circus is in town!"
• "I love the taste of mayhem!"
• "Practice makes perfect!"
• "Dance with me!"
• "Sorry, bozo!"
• [Laughs]
• "Liked that?"
• "How'd that feel?"
• "Saved that one special."
• "Chump, corner pocket!"
• "Let's rattle your cage."
• "Ring-a-ding-ding!"
• "Watch your head!"
• "Violence!"
• "Bam!"
• "Pop goes the weasel!"
• "Don't worry, I'm a professional."
• "Are you insured for this?"
• "You won't feel a thing."
• "Breathe deeply now!"
• "You might feel a little woozy. Heh heh."
• "An oldie but a goodie!"
• "Yes, I am a bit of a botanist."
• "How's your pH level?"
• "It's a real hot-house flower!"
• "Careful, this might sizzle."
• "Brushed them this morning."
• "Stole these from the mayor."
• "How do ya like THESE pearly whites?"
• "This trap has some bite to it!"
• "Shhh, I'm hunting morons."
• "Bang!"
• "Blammo!"
• "Shocking!"
• "A little archaic, but it works for me."
• "Been using this one since the sixties!"
• "Buzz, buzz, buzz!"
• "Let's run some volts through that spine, hmm?"
• "Ride the lightning, baby!"
• "Yoo-hoo!"
• "How 'bout a truce?"
• "Put 'er there!"
• "Let bygones be bygones!"
• "Let's shake on it!"
• "We'll just shake hands, and that'll be it!"
• "You're looking a little hot under the collar!"
• "Hmph!"
• "Pick a card!"
• "Nothing up my sleeve!"
• "From the bottom of the deck!"
• "Joker's wild, morons!"
• "Also a great party trick!"
• "Rats!"
• "No?"
• "They can't all land."
• "Up here!"
• "Coming through!"
• "KA-boing!"
• "This is FUN!"
• "It's bounce time, baby!"
• "Up up and away!"
• "Sayōnara!"
• "Bought these in bulk."
• "Arrivederci!"
• "All aboard!"
• "Wheee!"
• "Heads up!"
• "Here comes Joker!"
• "Giddyup!"
• "Get wrecked, losers!"
• "Ta-Daa!"
• "Which'll it be?"
• "Oooh chances chances."
• "Roll those bones!"
• "The clock is ticking!"
• "And they get the boom!"
• "Big winnah!"
• "Luck of the draw!"
• "Hey, it's for you!"
• "Tick tick, baby!"
• "Joke's on you!"
• "Can't win 'em all!"
• "GOTCHA."
• "I got a joke for ya!"
• "Knock knock!"

Against Batman

• "I've got toys, too!"
• "Gotcha, bats!"
• "This one's for you, Bats!"
• "Take that, you flying rodent!"
• "This one's for you, bats!"
• "Deal 'em up, Batsy!"
• "How's THIS for therapy?"
• "Take a sniff, Batman!"
• "Picked it just for you, bats!"
• "A rose for a rodent so sweet!"
• "Roses are red, bats are DEAD."
• "Boing boing, pointy ears!"
• "Look out, Batsy!"
• "Watch your head, bat-brain!"
• "Jealous, Batsy?"
• "Say goodnight, Batman!"
• "Got a smile for ya, bats!"
• "You won't smile? I'll do it for you!"
• "This little guy is a big fan of your work, Batsy!"
• "You might recognize these chompers from Gotham P.D..."

Against Finn the Human

• "Card in your eye, kid!"
• "They play poker in Ooo, kid?"
• "Ooo, my deal."
• "I prefer spades to swords. [laughs]"

Against Jake the Dog

• "You've got some bounce in you!"
• "Look out, soft head!"
• "[mocking] Boing boing, *dude*."
• "Stretch out of this!"
• "Oooh! I bet you're chewy like taffy!"
• "I like my dogs with some bites in 'em."
• "Oh, and he comes pre-tenderized!"
• "Man bites dog? Don't see that every day."

Against Rick

• "Pinochle, old man!"
• "Read 'em and weep, Rick!"
• "Let's see how that old skin slices!"
• "You still remember how to play cards, Sanchez?"

Against Velma

• "Velma and the case of the mysterious acid!"
• "Velma, what's this smell like?"
• "Flower delivery for Ms. Dinkley! [laughs]"
• "Smell the roses, Velma."

Against Shaggy

• "Stomped ya, hippie!"
• "Mmm, is that cloves I smell?"
• "Hey NORVILLE."
• "How's this for a snack?"
• "Chew on this, Norville!"
• "Zoinks on this!"
• "Peace, love and bazookas."

Against Superman

• "Sorry, Supes!"
• "Feel anything?"
• "Who's up and away now?"
• "Watch it, Super-Stupe!"
• "So, how bulletproof are you?"
• "Block one of these before?"
• "Let's get spicy, Supes!"
• "Take this, Captain Killjoy!"

Taunts

General

• "Ooh, I love a crossover. Don't you?"
• "All it takes is one bad day... Who knows, maybe this is yours!"
• "Are you not entertained?!"
• "Oooh, I love a crossover, don't you?"
• "Violence is never the answer... MORE violence is."
• "This material is wasted on you saps!"
• "Wanna see a magic trick?"
• "I've got a joke... but I'm afraid *you're* the punchline!"
• "Here's Joker, baby!"

With Harley Quinn

• "Just follow my lead, Harley. You know I'll never lead you astray. [chuckle]"
• "Have you all met my lovely assistant, Harley? She's got some *killer* material too."
• "Harley, my sweet? It's time for mayhem."
• "Time for the dance of chaos, my pet."
• "Hope you've got that hammer ready, my dear."

Against Batman

• "C'mon, Batsy. You're not *scared*, are ya?"
• "I'm starting to think we'll never get rid of each other, Batsy."
• "Take your shot, Batman. You know you want to."
• "You gonna just stand there fiddling with your utility belt?"
• "Even all this way from Gotham, it's always been about you and me."
• "Don't pretend there's anyone you'd rather be fighting than *me*."
• "Batman, Batman, Batman.... When will you learn?"
• "Tell Robin I said hi. You know which one."

Against Bugs Bunny

• "How long have we known each other now, rabbit?"
• "You ever miss the sixties, Bugs?"
• "I know what Bugs I'm squashing out next."
• "Hey, rabbit! Know any good slow-cooker recipes?"

Against Rick

• "Shame we couldn't meet under better circumstances, Sanchez."
• "Ooh, another old mad scientist. Never met one of THOSE before."
• "Now I never drink on the job, but then again I'm a professional."
• "Are there any parts of you that AREN'T cybernetic, old man?"

Against Jake the Dog

• "Go fetch, stretchy dog. Go fetch into a vat of acid."
• "Do you still stretch at sub-zero temperatures? Wondering for a friend."
• "Stretchy magic? Little lazy, don't you think?"
• "What cutesy wutesy little soulless eyes you have!"

Against Shaggy

• "All that power and this is what you do?"
• "What IS your sandwich budget?"
• "Keep your shirt on, weirdo."
• "Sandwich powers? Is that what the rock gave you?"

Against Velma

• "Only mystery I'm trying to solve is how a nerd like you got here."
• "If you need a clue, I might have something up my sleeve for you..."
• "The greatest fighters in the Multiverse... and they went with Velma. Interesting."
• "Oooh, I do like the sass though."

Against Wonder Woman

• "Tell the truth, Wonder Woman. What has Batman said about me? Hm?"
• "Tell me something. Why's an Amazon wearing red white and blue? I've never understood that."
• "I'm thinking about taking a little trip to Themyscira... You'll recommend some local spots, won't you?"
• "For a museum curator, you're not half-bad at this fighting thing, hoohoo."

Win Quotes

General

• "The Clown Prince of Crime wins again!"
• "[Laughs] I win."
• "I believe that one's mine."
• "Hope you didn't bet against me, heh."
• "[Laughs] I didn't even stack the deck this time!"
• "Well, of course I was going to win. I always do in the end."
• "Oh, the pleasure was all mine."
• "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the dover sole!"
• "Heh, high-five, brain."
• "If anyone wants my autograph, I'll be in my dressing room."
• "Who says crime doesn't pay?"
• "Well, you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs."

With Harley Quinn

• "Just as I predicted Harley. Me, winning. You, also there."
• "Feels good, doesn't it?
• "A toast to us, my pet."
• "Nice work, Harley! Now let's go celebrate."
• "Couldn't ask for a better assistant! [laughs]"

Against Batman

• "Oh, I'm just as disappointed in you as you are, Bats."
• "And that's the way the Batman crumbles!"
• "Update your stat cards, nerds! Batman loses to The Joker, AGAIN!"
• "[announcer voice] And the Bat's outta here, Joker wins!"
• "Til next time, bat-brain!"
• "Oh, the winner's circle is even sweeter when I'm beating you!"
• "Don't get your pointy ears in a twist. Maybe you'll beat me next time!"
• "All those little bat-toys, and you still couldn't beat me!"

Against Bugs Bunny

• "That's all, folks."
• "Go cry about it to your other animal friends."
• "Dibs on the rabbit's foot! What? Not that kind of game?"
• "You're no fun anymore, Bugs."

Against Jake the Dog

• "I wonder if my taxidermist can do, uh... stretchy dog."
• "Ha, call me when a real threat from Ooo shows up."
• "No kibble for you tonight, sparky!"
• "HEEL, stretchy dog!"

Against Rick

• "Oh, yawn. And crazy science loses again."
• "See, this is why science is never the answer."
• "Stop looking for the punchline and accept the nihilism, baby."
• "Someone get the old timer some prune juice."

Against Shaggy

• "Don't feel bad, Shaggy. You're just no good at this!"
• "All that power and you still lost! How's it feel? No, really. Tell me."
• "Don't worry, it's not like I shot your dog... I don't think..."
• "Feh. Didn't even NEED the gem."

Against Velma

• "You sassed me? How did that not work?"
• "How did I go this whole time without making fun of your last name?"
• "So you're not really the fighter in your little crew, are you?"
• "I think the problem might have been the NERD on your team. HA!"

Against Wonder Woman

• "Maybe you should stick to your museum, toots."
• "You Justice League LOSERS never live up to the hype!"
• "Where'd you park that invisible jet? Now that I beat you, I want to take it for a spin!"
• "Make sure you tell Batman about this at the next Justice League meeting, m'kay?"

Unused Quotes

Menu Interaction

• "You ever want to be a henchman, you let me know. I've got some great gangs I could refer you to."
• "I wonder if Commissioner Gordon misses me as much as I miss tormenting him."
• "I've never understood the appeal of avocado toast, have you? Just give me butter and the bitter tears of my enemies, for Pete's sake."
• "If you ask me, the thing I never get enough credit for is just *how many* clown-themed traps and weapons I come up with."
• "Right, wrong… nobody's got a clue what the difference is in this town."
• "I can't help but think about all those poor, poor Gothamites trying to get by without their Joker. Who will terrorize them while I'm gone?"
• "Don't tell Harl you saw me. I'm trying to get some personal space, if I'm perfectly honest."
• "You talked to Batman lately? How's he doing? He say anything about me-? Not that I'm interested or anything."
• "I ever tell you about the time I poisoned Gotham's water supply with a bunch of Joker fish? What a hoot of a Tuesday that was."
• "Biggest lesson I've learned as a supervillain? Don't skimp on your goons. Just because someone puts on some clown paint doesn't make 'em loyal."
• "So tell me. Who's been your favorite punk to beat up so far? The adorable kids? The old scientist? I like hitting 'em all, if I'm honest."
• "Hm? Oh sorry, you caught me having a little daydream about my arch-nemesis. You must know him: Dark, brooding, dresses up like a flying rat?"

During The Morning

• "Well, good morning, sunshine."
• "Ohhh you better have a good reason for getting me up this early."
• "I'm not a morning clown. Never have been. So just, ugh, tell me what you want so we can get this over with."

During The Afternoon

• "You had lunch yet? I'm starving."
• "Having a good day so far? I really don't care, but small-talk stops me from wanting to swing a mallet at your head."
• "Can you feel that? The electric hum of possibilities? That's today. Right now. We could do *anything*."

During The Evening

• "Hoohoo I love nighttime. Just full of... possibilities."
• "It's a lovely evening... for mayhem."
• "I remember it was a night just like this one that I met ol' pointy-ears for the first time. I remember it like it was yesterday."

During The Winter Seasons

• "[singing] Jingle Bells, Batman smells.... Hehehehe I love that one."
• "Oh I love the holidays. Presents under the tree, dynamite in every stocking... Gets me in the holly jolly spirit just thinking about it."
• "I remember one Christmas, Mister Freeze flash-froze the entire Gotham PD... [laughing] I love a good office party."

During The Player's Birthday

• "I hear birthday wishes are in order. [sinister] I hope you get everything you wished for."
• "Did you order an exploding jack-in-the-box for your birthday? No? That must be mine then."
• "Someday I really need to figure out when Batman's birthday is so I can pop out of his cake and surprise him... [chuckle]"

Taunts

• "Always time to coif' the 'do."
• "Smile pretty for the pictures."
• "Well, we DO live in a society."
• "Me? Stack the deck? Perish the thought."
• "Would I trick you?"
• "Watch the hands, losers."
• "Where's that little info card?"
• "Looks like I've got happy feet!"
• "Got a lot to celebrate!"